GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
