Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
