This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The adults are the big ones right?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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