I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
