Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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