i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Randomize
