Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm too high and old for this...
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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