I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
