Dual....:-)
...so i touched it.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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