I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
porn star boner night. come get it.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
