his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
