Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
