you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
