yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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