Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
