Umm I'm too high to move.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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