have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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