I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
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