i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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