You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
