yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
