tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
