Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
