She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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