Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
