you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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