after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
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