You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
