I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
found the other keg... it's in the tree
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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