why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
