Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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