She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
