I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
