Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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