i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
