why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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