Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Randomize
