My hand turned me down
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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