bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
