yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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