At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
