I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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