Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Randomize
