I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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