Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
