we're blogging at a bar
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
