so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
