this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
