There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
