I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
